ST:TNG Mirror TV Guide S1E23: We’ll Always Have Paris

ST:TNG Mirror TV Guide
by the Enigmatic Miss Sunbeam
read by Karmen Ghia

23. We’ll Always Have Paris. Jean-Luc appears to have had an affair with the cuter girl from the old sixties group, The Mamas and the Papas. Guess he stopped into a church. Guess he got down on his knees to pray. Etc. etc. You get the picture; they’d been in love once [snoresnore] but she married a big cosmic physicist instead. Despite all the potential, kinda boring the way all them early eps is. (You know though, if I knew a guy who had power over Time and Space, I’d have second thoughts about messing with his wife. What was Jean-Luc thinking of?)

Each episode will be posted on Sunday (for as long as I last). So rev up your RSS feeds or follow me on Twitter @karmenghiaville

ST:TNG Mirror TV Guide S1E22: Skin of Evil

ST:TNG Mirror TV Guide
by the Enigmatic Miss Sunbeam
read by Karmen Ghia

22. Skin of Evil. Love that title! See, there’s a horrible villain and his name is Armus and he kills Tasha and he gets Riker dirty and he’s got skin of evil and we hate him and they leave him alone and he lives in a swamp and he’s got no friends and he’s crying and he’s lonely and . . . oh, no, I’m on Armus’s side all the way! Tasha: what is it Shakespeare says! We owe God a death! Get over it, blondie!

Each episode will be posted on Sunday (for as long as I last). So rev up your RSS feeds or follow me on Twitter @karmenghiaville

ST:TNG Mirror TV Guide S1E21: Symbiosis

ST:TNG Mirror TV Guide
by the Enigmatic Miss Sunbeam
read by Karmen Ghia

21. Symbiosis. Drug Addict ep. The chief drug addict is played by the actor who was David, Captain Kirk’s pretty-boy son. He does a lot of v. pubic acting with his Shatneresque mouth and it’s a pleasure to see him. Actually, the whole ep is kind of a prototype of “Velvet Goldmine” only without the music. And without the nudity. And the buttfucking is only implied.

This is short, so the next episode will follow right after. Otherwise, each episode will be posted on Sunday (for as long as my voice and I last). So rev up your RSS feeds or follow me on Twitter @karmenghiaville

ST:TNG Mirror TV Guide S1E20: The Arsenal of Freedom

ST:TNG Mirror TV Guide
by the Enigmatic Miss Sunbeam
read by Karmen Ghia

20. The Arsenal of Freedom. What a great Twilight Zone episode! See, okay, lotta plot here, and it’s v. ironic! Species of Vincent Schiavelli-lookalikes invent weapons so clever that the species destroy themselves with them. Fair enough. But, in the process of destroying themselves, they also leave a CGI salesman who looks EXACTLY like Vincent Schiavelli who keeps trying to sell the same terrible machines to our gang by showing them how destructive the machines are. Shakespeareanly clever JLP figures out that the only way to get Vincent Schiavelli to put a sock in it is to buy the stupid program. And he does. And it does. A nice ep! Tasha (hey, does she have the eightiest hair in the world or what) and Riker get threatened with annihilation! Way to go!

Each episode will be posted on Sunday (for as long as I last). So rev up your RSS feeds or follow me on Twitter @karmenghiaville

ST:TNG Mirror TV Guide S1E19: Heart of Glory

ST:TNG Mirror TV Guide
by the Enigmatic Miss Sunbeam
read by Karmen Ghia

19. Heart of Glory. To think TPTB didn’t hire Dorn fulltime at first, and then he ends up striding two whole series like the Colossus he is! Here, some hot ‘n’ leathery Klingons come on board the Enterprise and taunt Worf for being a nelly federation Klingon. He is torn. Eventually one of them dies and Worf gets to growl at the camera to warn him the dead are coming: Kool Klingon thing.

This is a short listing, so we’ll just move right along to the next listing. Otherwise, as you know, each episode will be posted on Sunday (for as long as I last). So rev up your RSS feeds or follow me on Twitter @karmenghiaville

ST:TNG Mirror TV Guide S1E18: Coming of Age

ST:TNG Mirror TV Guide
by the Enigmatic Miss Sunbeam
read by Karmen Ghia

18. Coming of Age: See, Riker’s getting a suntan in the holodeck but he stays in there too long and gets sunburned and so Bev has to give him a big shot of cordrazine and Jean-Luc is wandering around and he says, “whatcha doin’ Bev?” and it startles her and her hand jumps and she accidentally injects the cordrazine into Jean-Luc and he goes crazy and starts having sex with everyone in sight, starting with bright red Riker in baggy swim trunks, um, and then Jean-Luc moves back to earth and gets his own series and it’s called “Howdy, I’m Jean-Luc!” and his wacky next-door neighbors are played by Suzanne Somers, Lee Iacocca, and Flipper and there’s always a moral where everybody learns some sort of lesson and then there’s a big final music salute to “Coming of Age”!!! [teeny voice] I’m a terrible Trekkie! I don’t have any idea about what happens in this ep! I made all that up!

Each episode will be posted on Sunday (for as long as I last). So rev up your RSS feeds (although not Google Reader for very much longer [sigh]) or follow me on Twitter @karmenghiaville

ST:TNG Mirror TV Guide S1E17: Home Soil

ST:TNG Mirror TV Guide
by the Enigmatic Miss Sunbeam
read by Karmen Ghia

17. Home Soil. What a splendidly cheap show! Lots of scenes where the cast stares into the camera pretending to look at “dangerous” microscopic creatures. “Look at what they’re doing now!” Close-up Bighead JLP says! “Oh, no!” says Close-up Bighead Geordi! “Those creatures are multiplying exponentially,” says Close-up Bighead Data! No sex. Although that would be easy to script. Close-up Bighead JLP: “Mon dieu, I’ve never seen a bigger lovepole!” Close-up Bighead Worf: “Too bad, Captain Picard! Now pull down those drawers!” Close-up Bighead Riker: “Meanwhile, Data, help me hogtie Geordi so I can take out Li’l Willy and . . .” (Man, I could write this script all day long!)

Each episode will be posted on Sunday (for as long as I last). So rev up your RSS feeds (although not Google Reader for very much longer [sigh]) or follow me on Twitter @karmenghiaville