ST:TNG Mirror TV Guide S2E27: Where Silence Has Lease

ST:TNG Mirror TV Guide
by the Enigmatic Miss Sunbeam
read by Karmen Ghia

27. Where Silence Has Lease. Nagillum takes over the ship. Help! I’m scared of Nagillum! His head is as big as a horizon! It’s creepy! Jean-Luc decides, rather than cede control of the ship to creepy Nagillum, to blow it up along with all the people on it. Oh, I see, KING Jean-Luc. L’Enterprise: C’est HIM! No chance of playing along with Nagillum and then fooling him later? No, just le boomboom maintenant, eh, mon frere!

Each episode will be posted on Sunday (for as long as I last). So rev up your RSS feeds or follow me on Twitter @karmenghiaville

ST:TNG Mirror TV Guide S2E26: The Child

ST:TNG Mirror TV Guide
by the Enigmatic Miss Sunbeam
read by Karmen Ghia

26. The Child. The second season of TNG was tough going for us fans, primarily because of . . . PULASKI!!!!! ARRRRGGGGGHHH! Did Helen Keller do that casting??? Honestly. Well, back to the plot: aliens impregnate Deanna, she has a child and names it Ian, and Ian just grows and grows and grows until he explodes. Okay, that’s kinda different. (Strangely enough, no one ever alludes to Ian ever again. Ever. What’s up with that? In real life, people would at least THINK about Deanna’s strange child. Does Deanna not want them to? “Cap-TAN, I sense the crew is thinking of IAN AGAN.” So Jean-Luc strips down to nothing but a pair of lion-tamer tights, picks up the whip, and says in the sexiest voice in history: “Belay that thinking about Ian, you lot, or taste the whip.” Ooooooooohh.)

Each episode will be posted on Sunday (for as long as I last). So rev up your RSS feeds or follow me on Twitter @karmenghiaville

ST:TNG Mirror TV Guide S1E25: The Neutral Zone

ST:TNG Mirror TV Guide
by the Enigmatic Miss Sunbeam
read by Karmen Ghia

25. The Neutral Zone. Boo! We’re Romulans! Beware not only of us but also of our fearsome shoulder pads! Hey, three cybernetically frozen guys from the 1980’s show up; they are meant to be typical frozen guys of the 1980’s, to wit, a frazzled housewife, a country singer, and an asshole. The country singer (played by eerie Brechtian hillbilly Leon Rippy more as a hillbilly might be than as an actual hillbilly) hooks up with Data, the asshole is an asshole, and the frazzled housewife locates her great great great great grandson and makes plans to go and live with him. This is not a good thing! If my great great great great grandmother turned up from outer space, she would not be welcome, being no doubt much like Granny Clampett, only more primitive and less charming. And even MORE likely to offer marsupial-flavored snacks.

Each episode will be posted on Sunday (for as long as I last). So rev up your RSS feeds or follow me on Twitter @karmenghiaville

Thus ends Season 1. Stick around for Season 2! Or don’t.

ST:TNG Mirror TV Guide S1E24: Conspiracy

ST:TNG Mirror TV Guide
by the Enigmatic Miss Sunbeam
read by Karmen Ghia

24. Conspiracy. A favorite episode among slashers because of the presence of Walker Keel. See, Walker introduced Jack Crusher to Bev, and, of course, Jean-Luc (theoretically) caused Jack’s death but, since Jean-Luc was also friends with Walker, Walker’s a key erotic figure. What do you want to bet that Jack, Walker, and Jean-Luc had some three-way action right out of Andre Gide? But then Jack and Jean-Luc got a load of Beverly’s stuff and that was that. Seems like Walker has been sulking all these years. Also: giant bugs come out of people’s mouths. (Hey, Jean-Luc, that happens with my ex-boyfriends too!) Added pluses: Riker eats worms!!! and another guy’s head explodes! Fun for the whole family!

Each episode will be posted on Sunday (for as long as I last). So rev up your RSS feeds or follow me on Twitter @karmenghiaville