ST:TNG Mirror TV Guide S2E33: A Matter of Honor

ST:TNG Mirror TV Guide
by the Enigmatic Miss Sunbeam
read by Karmen Ghia

33. A Matter of Honor: Great Riker ep and slashy as hell! Apparently, Jean-Luc and the captain of a Klingon vessel grant each other most-favored-boytoy status; the Klingons get Riker. Lotsa of steamy moments ensue. Riker takes a real shine to lanky farouche Klag who returns the favor. Klag’s dad doesn’t understand him. “Neither does mine,” Riker says and bites his lower lip, “but I always wanted someone, a daddy, who would unnerstand me.” “I know what you mean,” Klag breathes. “Jean-Luc, he’s nice ‘n’ everything, but he doesn’t give me what I really want.” Klag swallows, “What do you really want?” “Sometimes,” Riker fixes his most limpid gaze on Klag, “sometimes I think I need a spanking. With my pants down.” “Ahh,” says Klag, nearly swooning, “you mean, with your kneesapart. So I can see everything?” “Yes,” Riker whispers demurely. Wow. You all get the picture. Happy ending! Klag and Riker get married, plus there’s bacteria and a comic Benzite!

Each episode will be posted on Sunday (for as long as I last). So rev up your RSS feeds or follow me on Twitter @karmenghiaville

ST:TNG Mirror TV Guide S2E30-32: Loud as a Whisper, The Schizoid Man, and Unnatural Selection

ST:TNG Mirror TV Guide
by the Enigmatic Miss Sunbeam
read by Karmen Ghia

30. Loud as a Whisper: Deaf Guy and his three backup singers, AKA the Pips, board the ship. The Pips get murdered and Data has to learn sign language so he can be a Junior Pip. Yay! This works out tremendously well for everyone. Except for the first Pips.

31. The Schizoid Man. Disturbing ep. We get to see a corpse. EWWWWW!!!! The corpse’s soul possesses Data’s body for classic corpse motives: so he can get laid by his surviving pretty assistant! He’s like a mad scientist, so, see, there IS a plot. Now, back to your desks.

32. Unnatural Selection. Pulaski turns into a horrible old bag. Ah. (Insert your own joke here.)

Each episode will be posted on Sunday (for as long as I last). So rev up your RSS feeds or follow me on Twitter @karmenghiaville

ST:TNG Mirror TV Guide S2E29: The Outrageous Okona

ST:TNG Mirror TV Guide
by the Enigmatic Miss Sunbeam
read by Karmen Ghia

29. The Outrageous Okona. TNG still loitering at the edges of what it could be. Guinan and Data tonelessly discuss “being funny”. Then Joe Piscopo does an ineffably tragic turn as a holoststandup comedian showing Data how to be funny. Oh, for God’s sake, Gericault’s “Raft of the Medusa” provokes more laughs than these deadly scenes! Some guy who’s supposed to be cute (he DOES have a ponytail) does some things. His name’s Okona and the best thing about him is that we lovely ladies can slash him with JLP/Will/Worf til the cows come home, so he’s not totally useless.

RaftOfTheMedusa

Each episode will be posted on Sunday (for as long as I last). So rev up your RSS feeds or follow me on Twitter @karmenghiaville

ST:TNG Mirror TV Guide S2E28: Elementary, Dear Data

ST:TNG Mirror TV Guide
by the Enigmatic Miss Sunbeam
read by Karmen Ghia

28. Elementary, Dear Data. Buncha Sherlock Holmes stuff with Data and Geordi. Geordi screws around with the holodeck, and Professor Moriarty becomes real and takes over the ship. Moriarty also kidnaps Pulaski “because he wants to.” Oh, sure. The uncanny lack of chemistry between Pulaski and everyone else in existence is quite striking; do you think she has like a . . . forcefield going on? Still: Jean-Luc gets to wear gorgeous nineteenth-century togs! Two sex points: Sex point A) When Jean- Luc goes to Geordi’s quarters, Geordi apologizes for screwing up. The camera shuts down. Jean-Luc says, “now that the camera’s off, you must do what you always do when you fail me, Geordi. On your knees and make it last longer this time.” Then he fumbles at his fly. A dot of saliva appears in the corner of Geordi’s mouth. Sex point B) The amusingly snippy and affected actor who plays Moriarty is originally from . . . Arkansas!!!! That’s right: tell your ma, tell your pa! Moriarty’s from Arkansas! Wonder if Bill Clinton tried to have sex with him? Wonder if Bill got state troopers to bring Moriarty to the Razorback Hilton? Wonder if Bill said, “Al, turn yore head! Moriarty, yew are MAHHHHHNNN!” *sigh* I miss our Zeus-like Bill Clinton. Shakespeare might have been speaking of the US government in 2001 when he has Hamlet Jr. compare Hamlet Sr. to Claudius by observing “Like Hyperion to a toad.”

Each episode will be posted on Sunday (for as long as I last). So rev up your RSS feeds or follow me on Twitter @karmenghiaville