ST:TNG Mirror TV Guide S3E48: Evolution

ST:TNG Mirror TV Guide
by the Enigmatic Miss Sunbeam
read by Karmen Ghia

NEW NONFICTION: MIRROR TV GUIDE LISTINGS, TNG, SEASON 3 (O3/07) AKA Through a Sunbeam Darkly Author: The Enigmatic Big Miss Sunbeam Code: TNG Rating: R for Language and Suggestive Situations.

48. Evolution. Thanks to Wesley, nanites run amok. See, it’s his science project but it got out of hand! Oh, Wes, you asshole! The director of this episode, Winrich Kolbe, calls this the “kudzu” episode because science goes crazy and does evil instead of good. Not unlike kudzu. What? Yall don’t know what kudzu is! Even as I type, I am looking out my office window at a big old mess of kudzu, the Japanese plant brought to the American South sometime in the 1940’s to stop erosion. Turns out kudzu LOVED the American South, loved it so much it wants to cover every damn inch of us with its harmless but excitable vinery (most reminiscent of the Andrew Marvell line: “my vegetable love should grow vaster than empires”). Kudzu grows an inexorable six or seven inches a night, but it still has a baffling loveliness. Say, wouldn’t that make a great Klingon name! Captain Kudz’U! (Here you go: a nice kudzu site: http://www.alltel.net/~janthony/kudzu/) [1]

Each episode will be posted on Sunday (for as long as I last). So rev up your RSS feeds or follow me on Twitter @karmenghiaville Or just come on by every Sunday! We’ll love to see y’all!

1. Here’s some kudzu references: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kudzu and http://biology.duke.edu/bio217/2002/bmm10/kudzu.htm.

ST:TNG Mirror TV Guide S2E45-47: The Emissary, Peak Performance, and Shades of Gray

ST:TNG Mirror TV Guide
by the Enigmatic Miss Sunbeam
read by Karmen Ghia

45. The Emissary. Worf’s old girlfriend shows up. They snarl at each other. This passes as a plot.

46. Peak Performance. Featuring the mandarin and effeminate Zakdorns, with the brilliant Roy Brocksmith as Public Zakdorn Number One! Brocksmith is a great alien; notice how his movement suggests that he might have three or more legs (and why not?) This ep has such a rockin plot: Zakdorns, games, Ferengi subterfuge, Riker fights Jean-Luc, Data learns some kind of lesson. It’s got it all!

47. Shades of Gray A slide show! An audiovisual! I do this all the time. I say to myself: do I really want to go in and try to taunt that herd of teen satan-worshippers into giving it up for see-aye-tee-spells-cat! NAWWW, I’ll just prop my feet up and show an AV instead! Hence this show: Riker going into a coma and strolling down memory lane. And Pulaski compounds the error.

Here ends TNG Season 2 Mirror TV Guide Interpretive Reading by Karmen Ghia. Stick around for Season 3! Or come back in a few weeks; it’s your life.

Each episode will be posted on Sunday (for as long as I last). So rev up your RSS feeds or follow me on Twitter @karmenghiaville

ST:TNG Mirror TV Guide S2E44: Manhunt

ST:TNG Mirror TV Guide
by the Enigmatic Miss Sunbeam
read by Karmen Ghia

44. Manhunt. Lwaxana. Hey, guess what I just found out? (Ole Sunbeam has done her homework.) While researching hillbilly drive-in movies (I have many interests), I found that Majel had a featured role in “Country Boy”! Yes, the classic 1966 hillbilly drive-in movie “Country Boy”! Starring Skeeter Davis! And Sheb Wooley! You surely remember “Country Boy”? Where the wicked agent discovers the title character pumping gas and singing and signs him to a career? Alas, according to the All-Movie Guide, the aforementioned country boy has stage fright, so his agent has to: “help him out by dressing him up as Abe Lincoln and getting him to sing rock & roll. The audience is totally offended and the US President personally requests a meeting with the boy’s father to try and persuade the lad to give up his sacrilegious act.” As they say in the print-humor biz, I am not making this up. Majel plays the part of “Miss Wynn”, and, using my enormous Lwaxana-like psychic powers, I believe that means she’s the agent’s secretary. Thank God she married well. Oh, in “Manhunt” Lwxana grazes on the holodeck for a while. She doesn’t seem to quite understand holodecks, BTW, so I must say she’s awfully unworldly for a psychic ambassador from outer space.

Each episode will be posted on Sunday (for as long as I last). So rev up your RSS feeds or follow me on Twitter @karmenghiaville

ST:TNG Mirror TV Guide S2E42-43: Samaritan Snare and Up The Long Ladder

ST:TNG Mirror TV Guide
by the Enigmatic Miss Sunbeam
read by Karmen Ghia

42. Samaritan Snare. Featuring the Pakleds. What’s their thing: why, they’re dumb as mud!!! It’s Star Trek for Dummies! And they steal Geordi because “He is smart. He makes things go.” Then our gang fools them and they end up returning Geordi. I still think Pakleds Rule!!! Oh, yeah, this is the one where Wes and Cap go off in a shuttlecraft and Cap tells Wes about his artificial heart. “Would you like to see my scar?” Cap says. Wes swallows. “And, by the way, Wesley, I have other scars as well. On other parts of my body. There’s nothing wrong with two manly men showing each other their scars, you know. Can I examine you for scars, Wes? We’ll just put this little craft on automatic and go in the back and look . . . for scars, right, Wes? It will be our little secret.”

43. Up the Long Ladder. Huguenot clones on one side, Irish spacemen on the other. I kid you not. And then Riker gets laid by one of those terrifyingly over-simplified zestful-breastful full-of-life girls that are completely fictional.

Each episode will be posted on Sunday (for as long as I last). So rev up your RSS feeds or follow me on Twitter @karmenghiaville