ST:TNG Mirror TV Guide S3E55: The Price

ST:TNG Mirror TV Guide
by the Enigmatic Miss Sunbeam
read by Karmen Ghia

55. The Price. Deanna downgrades her choice in men from Riker to Deivoni Ral, who gives her a foot massage on screen! To quote George C. Scott in “Hard Core”: *Turn it off, turn it off!* Matt McCoy (who has a real gift for slimy creations) plays Deivoni. He’s done some curious things in his career: he was in the 90’s greatest movie “L.A. Confidential” as the slimy TV cop based on Jack Vincennes (Kevin Spacey’s character). (Say, wouldn’t Kevin Spacey make a great Mizarian! I love Kevin Spacey! And, apropos de rien, wouldn’t Christopher Walken make the GREATEST KLINGON in Federation history!) Since “L.A. Confidential” also featured the faboo James Cromwell (I love James Cromwell too!!!), I think Curtis Hanson, the director of “LAC”, has a little hard-on for Star Trek; he was the director for “The Hand that Rocks the Cradle” which had Matt McCoy (again) as Annabelle Sciorra’s husband and John deLancie as the gynecologist who molested her. Yes. JdL was the gynecologist who molested her: swooooooooooooooooonnn! What a sexy sentence. Of course, the stupid whore turned him in to the obgyn cops and poor Q had to shoot himself. HORRIBLE, MOST HORRIBLE! Who here hates that bitch Annabelle Sciorra! Aha, I thought so! I have always fantasized about an AU version of “The Hand that Rocks The Cradle” where *she* dies and JdL is set free to molest everybody and we get to watch every bit of it! (And furthermore, wouldn’t Tommy Lee Jones make the SECOND GREATEST KLINGON IN FEDERATION HISTORY! And because he’s Tommy Lee Jones of Harvard, he could play a psychotic Klingon who recites Wallace Stevens and T.S. Eliot as he psychoes around!!!! “Death is the mother of beauty! Grrrr! We who were living are now dying with a little patience!” Wow! “You have not read *The Wasteland* until you have read it in the original Klingon!!” SWOOOOnoovius!)

Each episode will be posted on Sunday (for as long as I last). So rev up your RSS feeds or follow me on Twitter @karmenghiaville Or just come on by every Sunday! We’ll love to see y’all!

ST:TNG Mirror TV Guide S3E52-54: The Bonding, Booby Trap, and The Enemy

11/17/13
ST:TNG Mirror TV Guide S3E52-54: The Bonding, Booby Trap, and The Enemy

ST:TNG Mirror TV Guide
by the Enigmatic Miss Sunbeam
read by Karmen Ghia

52. The Bonding. There’s a kid and his parents are dead. Deanna says: well, I’ll be up there terrectly to talk to you. So: is it any wonder that aliens use this poor abandoned little kid as a conduit to the Enterprise? Most unsexy. Worf seems to figure in it. Plot, plot, plot.

53. Booby Trap. Featuring Leila Brahams in the title role (raucous strip music and cheers!). This is a Geordi episode. He solves an engineering problem and doesn’t get laid. Meanwhile, Data (who at times has a weird but unmistakable resemblance to the central figure in Botticelli’s “Birth of Venus”) just stands around waiting. Sad really.

54. The Enemy. The ep that proves there are no heterosexuals in foxholes.

Each episode will be posted on Sunday (for as long as I last). So rev up your RSS feeds or follow me on Twitter @karmenghiaville Or just come on by every Sunday! We’ll love to see y’all!

ST:TNG Mirror TV Guide S3E50 and 51: The Survivors and Who Watches the Watchers?

ST:TNG Mirror TV Guide
by the Enigmatic Miss Sunbeam
read by Karmen Ghia

50. The Survivors. Or Watch Out For Kevin! Kevin Uxbridge is a strange superpower who slaughters an entire planet of 56 hundred booboozillion souls. Kevin is not my idea of the right name for someone who would do that. Kevin is a pretty small hovering mouse-like name, really. I am KEVIN, destroyer of worlds. Kevin. What an odd choice. Kevin. No slash. Riker gets trapped in a thing and has to hang upside down is about it. Otherwise, no nothing. Kevin.

51. Who Watches the Watchers? Old-timey Vulcans have a toe- tapping hoe-down (much to Starfleet’s amusement; see, Starfleet is observing this crowd much as you and I might play with our ant farms). Things turn ugly when . . . something happens. The old- timey Vulcans think Jean-Luc is God (a reasonable assumption) and Riker and Deanna have to disguise themselves as old-timey Vulcans, and then Jean-Luc gets shot in the arm. Thus proving there is no God. Sort of. Also,, killer dad Leland Palmer from *Twin Peaks* seems to be head ant of the old-timey Vulcans.

Each episode will be posted on Sunday (for as long as I last). So rev up your RSS feeds or follow me on Twitter @karmenghiaville Or just come on by every Sunday! We’ll love to see y’all!

ST:TNG Mirror TV Guide S3E49: The Ensigns of Command

ST:TNG Mirror TV Guide
by the Enigmatic Miss Sunbeam
read by Karmen Ghia

49.The Ensigns of Command. Lots of plot, and, amidst it, a mild attempt to establish Data as a heterosexual. No one is really fooled. Oh, I forgot to say that last week’s episode marked the . . . (wait for it) end of . . . PULASKI!!! [HUGECECILBDEMILLECROWDWRITHESINECSTACY!!!] See, the previous episode opened up with a slow pan of Ten Forward and then we see Jean-Luc sitting with . . . BEV!!! Bev’s back! And she says, “Hi, Jean-Luc, yes, I’m back, replacing that horrible Pulaski.” “Well, Bev,” he intones, “that’s a relief for me, but even more for our studio audience.” “Sure enough, Jean-Luc. No more will their ears be assaulted by her fingernails-on-chalkboard voice.” “Nor their eyes by her scary ropy face! Huzzah! Guinan, General Foods International Moment Coffees all around. And,” Jean-Luc stands up, “I think I’ll lead us all in a song of gratitude: [sings] *O come all ye tykes that ply the brine . . .* Join in everybody!” etc. etc.

Each episode will be posted on Sunday (for as long as I last). So rev up your RSS feeds or follow me on Twitter @karmenghiaville Or just come on by every Sunday! We’ll love to see y’all!