ST:TNG Mirror TV Guide S3E62: Yesterday’s Enterprise

ST:TNG Mirror TV Guide
by the Enigmatic Miss Sunbeam
read by Karmen Ghia

62. Yesterday’s Enterprise. Champion bestest episode of all time! See, Jean-Luc and them are all messing about as they always do, and they go through a temporal rift where they’re twenty years in the past and the Klingons are mopping the floor with the Federation and it’s kind of an AU and everybody’s nerves are on edge, and it’s really sexy, and Jean-Luc has to snarl at Riker for being such a big freelance pussy, and barkeep Guinan is acting battle strategist (Whoopi is so wonderful; you can see how Guinan persuades Jean-Luc that she’s right.) The greatest moment is one which repudiates all you TOS’ers [1] who say that Jean-Luc is a social worker and a big femme and a girlycow that goes moomoo. At an analogous climactic moment when Shatner just kind of weaves around and says “Those Klingon bastards killed my son”, My Man leaps like Nijinsky off the bridge, says to the Klingons who want him to surrender “That will be the day, cocksuckers!” and proceeds to machine-gun his way back to “real” time. Words can do no justice to this ep.

Each episode will be posted on Sunday (for as long as I last). So rev up your RSS feeds or follow me on Twitter @karmenghiaville Or just come on by every Sunday! We’ll love to see y’all!

1. The Original Series.

ST:TNG Mirror TV Guide S3E61: A Matter of Perspective

ST:TNG Mirror TV Guide
by the Enigmatic Miss Sunbeam
read by Karmen Ghia

61. A Matter of Perspective. Good evening and welcome to Libra Theatre! Where all points of view are valid! Hey, there’s a scene in the movie *Giant* where Rock Hudson, Sal Mineo, and Earl Holliman are all sitting around discussing women. Prettttttttttty ironic if you ask me. Something of the same thing happens here when snippy Mister Apgar (love that name), snippy court martialist Craig Richard Nelson (he was the gay bridegroom in Robert Altman’s “The Wedding”) and the always ambivalent Will seem to accept Missus Apgar as the epitome of hot-momma-ness. Since the plot turns on the point that there’s some truth to everything, does this mean that when Missus Apgar says “first Riker touched my quivering bazooms and then he moved his fierce paw to his own love stem and the next thing I know I was saying yes and yes and . . .” she’s telling it true? Hot dog!

Each episode will be posted on Sunday (for as long as I last). So rev up your RSS feeds or follow me on Twitter @karmenghiaville Or just come on by every Sunday! We’ll love to see y’all!

ST:TNG Mirror TV Guide S3E60: Deja Q

ST:TNG Mirror TV Guide
by the Enigmatic Miss Sunbeam
read by Karmen Ghia

60. Deja Q. Q has loved his Johnny for some time, but Jean-Luc doesn’t fall in love with Q til this ep. Oodles of hot stuff: Q naked and “these aren’t my colors” and Q spitting out the phrase “little trained minions” at Data as they both march down the halls of the Enterprise! (John deLancie’s erotic fury is beautiful to behold.) Then Q decides to commit suicide in a shuttlecraft, and Riker, (oh beware the green-eyed monster, Will!) wants to let Q die, but Jean-Luc stays his hand: saying “I’d hate to waste a perfectly good shuttlecraft.” (Which is Startrek for “hitch me to your buggy, Q, lemme ride you like a mule”.) A scene that didn’t make it to the television screen: Jean-Luc retires to his ready room and there’s a beep. “Come” he says. The door whooshes open, and Riker is standing there. The door closes. “Daddy, no,” Riker says in a low rough whisper. Jean-Luc lifts his elegant head: “Boy doesn’t tell Daddy no.” SWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNN.

Each episode will be posted on Sunday (for as long as I last). So rev up your RSS feeds or follow me on Twitter @karmenghiaville Or just come on by every Sunday! We’ll love to see y’all!

ST:TNG Mirror TV Guide S3E58-59: The Hunted and The High Ground

ST:TNG Mirror TV Guide
by the Enigmatic Miss Sunbeam
read by Karmen Ghia

58. The Hunted. Crazed Viet Nam vet ep: Military killing machine is returned to Peacetime Planet and he doesn’t fit in. Unlike 90 per cent of all deranged televison vets, he isn’t played by Martin Sheen, but it doesn’t really matter. We do get to see James “Babe” Cromwell in yet another ST role, and Jean-Luc is quite impudent to him. (No one plays impudent in quite the Heroic/Sophoclean way Sir Big-He P.S. does.)

59. The High Ground. Here revolutionaries kidnap Bev. And then somehow kidnap JLP too. And then some others. Great Moment: it looks like curtains for Our Gang so Bev crawls on over to Jean-Luc and says, Jean-Luc, I want to talk to you about something. And – brilliant – Satrick Ptewart had been lying down but he does this ballet-type leaping-jacknife sit-up, clearly indicating the terror he feels over Bev confessing her messy inconvenient love. One of the revolutionaries, BTW, falls in love with Bev and does Police IdentiKit drawings of her. Just like a woman: she doesn’t care if Che Guevara will take her to the moon and back; it’s Jean-Luc and Jean-Luc only.

Each episode will be posted on Sunday (for as long as I last). So rev up your RSS feeds or follow me on Twitter @karmenghiaville Or just come on by every Sunday! We’ll love to see y’all!

ST:TNG Mirror TV Guide S3E56-57: The Vengeance Factor and The Defector

ST:TNG Mirror TV Guide
by the Enigmatic Miss Sunbeam
read by Karmen Ghia

56. The Vengeance Factor. Featuring the Hunters, a race of Richard-Geres-thinking-about-that-first-gerbil, and their enemies, the fat-Princess-Leia-like Gatherers. Riker gets some from a blond Gatherer, but then he finds out she’s really old and so he shoots her. Dead. Ah. My. Well. But she’s OLD; what’s his HURRY?

57. The Defector. Okay, a Romulan defects to the Enterprise. He’s kind of an interesting type, slickly handsome with a gravelly voice. I imagine that, back on Romulus, he’s like a . . . game show host or something, maybe the Romulan Gene Rayburn, hunkered down over his hand-held mike as he taunts the rube Romulan contestants. The Romulan Bret Somers says, “A chandelier,” the Romulan Charles Nelson Reilly drawls, “American cheese,” and the Romulan audience goes wild. Seems like our guy commits suicide. Being a game show host is hard on Romulans. (Before that, however, he and Bev swap phone numbers. Doesn’t she have the worst luck in men! Goodness!)

Each episode will be posted on Sunday (for as long as I last). So rev up your RSS feeds or follow me on Twitter @karmenghiaville Or just come on by every Sunday! We’ll love to see y’all!