ST:TNG Mirror TV Guide
by the Enigmatic Miss Sunbeam
read by Karmen Ghia
66. Captain’s Holiday. I don’t want to talk about it. My therapy sessions are continuing nicely: I am allowed two thirty-minute walks a day and one hot bath a week, and, although I still have to use plastic utensils when I eat, the doctor says I’m doing much better. (Arrrrggggh; fifty of television’s most traumatic minutes. Haggard Jennifer Hetrick creates a clone of Captain Picard who then swanks about Risa in the most amazing swimtrunks in American history while things happen. Meanwhile, the unfilmed truth is that the real Jean-Luc keeps his real holiday aboard the Enterprise reading the Peter Pauper edition of Marcus Aurelius. Hey, Jennifer turned up about 1998 in an Oil of Old Age commercial playing the MOTHER! Hahahaha! Sunbeam is avenged!) (You can see an unbelievable picture of Jean-Luc’s swimtrunks on page 43 of the December 1999 issue of “Star Trek: The Extremely Expensive Magazine”; that’s the ish with Odo on the cover. You will go *thud* when you see this photo. “Star Trek: The Extremely Expensive Magazine” knows its audience. In the December 2000 ish – Sulu’s on the cover – there’s a fascinating article on “Jim Kirk: A Man and His Ripped Shirt!” They even include a pie chart in page 18 showing Jim Kirk: 15 percent eps bare chested, 7.5 percent eps ripped shirt, and 77.5 percent eps fully clothed. You can see Kirk’s chest in 22.5 per cent of eps! Not bad odds. Could be better. But not bad.)
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